Words to my child

REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU I came across something I wrote to my child after we were all “outed” on the registry. After all the work my family did, the click of a mouse opened it up again. I can't tell you how many people asked my daughter, “how could your mom stay with him?” I needed to counter 'their' words with mine. Here are my words:

• Remember what I told you ... You have the right to say NO to anyone or anything that makes you uncomfortable in any way. Remember that you have the right to be safe in your own home. Remember that you have a beautiful voice and I am so very proud of you for using that voice.


• Remember what I told you ... That there are healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with things that happen to you in life. Sometimes you can not control what happens in your life but you can control how you react to things. That it matters more to act in a healthy way than to any actual event in your life. Whatever happens in your life, OWN it, CONFRONT it, and LEARN from it. Refuse to be a victim.
  


• Remember what I told you ... Knowledge is power. Knowledge and research are powerful tools when confronted by the “unspeakable.” It is through understanding the dynamics of the crime committed against you that true healing can manifest itself.
  


• Remember what I told you ... You did nothing wrong! You are such an amazing spirit. Never let anybody take that away from you. I am so very proud of you.
  


• Remember what I told you ... Be true to yourself. Stand up for yourself and what you believe. Only you have to face yourself in the mirror at the end of the day.
  


• Remember what I told you ... Nothing is black and white. There are shades of gray in human beings as well as events and circumstances in your life. Empathy is a learned skill.
  


• Remember what I told you ... No one or no thing can dictate to you on how YOU need to acknowledge and get through your victimization and recovery.
  


• Remember what I told you ... Being a victim may get you on a talk show but only healing gets you a life. But above all else remember the love and respect that we all share as a family. Nobody can take that away from us.